dialogue for short film

[ricketybridge]

Hey everyone,

So I am not a scientist whatsoever (and completely new here, so if I'm posting this in the wrong place, I'm sorry), but I wrote a short film that's going into production about scientists developing a vaccine. I looked up some language from studies, and it all sounds great to me, but I'm sure, of course, it'll have you all rolling your eyes at its inaccuracies. So I thought I'd show you guys, to see if you can point out if anything is incorrect, and how I should change it. Even pointing out something you would only say that in a study and not in real life would be awesome. I am, however, trying to make it as complicated and incomprehensible sounding to a layperson as possible.

I will, of course, list anyone and everyone I take advice from in the credits as consultants.

Here's the dialogue:

If the anti-PAV antibodies show a poly-specificity for non-neutralizing, linear epitopes, then they’ll increase the plasma viremia.
(Note: I made up "PAV" as the name of the fictional virus.)

Name of a study that's mentioned: Immunogenicity of Receptor 9 Agonist Vaccine for Postherpetic Neuralgia

When I started the stochastic activation of CD4 T cells, the latency was overcome by the Tat-mediated transactivation of the LTR, so the virus gene transcription and production of infection-competent viral particles reconstituted the viral reservoir.


Thanks a bunch!!

[JackBean]

what is viremia? What is postherpetic neuralgia?

[mith]

who's your audience? there's a curve of diminishing returns for authenticity vs entertainment

[ricketybridge]

Jack: I have no idea. That's what I'm asking you guys for.

mith: the joke is actually that it's so complicated, so no need to worry about that.

[mkwaje]

hmm. this dialogue is really far out..

my small comments, though I'm not a virologist.

at the last part, its not the virus that are competent, those are for the cells that will be infected. If you have competent cells, then those cells can be transformed (undergo transformation) whereby the naked viral DNA in the environment are taken in by the competent cells. Normally, if the cells are not competent, you can induce them using electroporation or giving the cells some electric shock to open up some small pores in their membrane, so that the viral DNA from the environment can get in.

But then your dialogue seems to be about lysogenic viruses, whereby the virus DNA is dormant in the host cell DNA, upon inducement, it will take over the machinery of the cell to produce new viruses. Now if these viral products are fully infectious, they will be called virions. And these virions will have full components including a capsid surrounding it. Therefore, if you are producing virions, there are no naked DNA to be used for transformation so maybe cell competency should not be mentioned.

Did I make any sense? guys?

lots of luck.... wish I could be a scriptwriter, ha ha
peace.

[priyajoshi]

IMO, anything related to DNA is basically incomprehensible to the average person. I was rolling my eyes at the first line of dialogue.
Why does it have to be incomprehensible? Is this about zombies?

If the anti-PAV antibodies show a poly-specificity for non-neutralizing, linear epitopes, then they’ll increase the plasma viremia.

= If the PAV antibodies display specificity for ____?____ then they'll create a feedback loop increasing the viral load exponentially.

Immunogenicity of Receptor 9 Agonist Vaccine for Postherpetic Neuralgia

--Immunogenicity of Post-therapeutic Neuralgia vaccine